JOHN WAYNE IN HEAVEN
Ol’ Glory is a-flyin’ now
In that breeze that never ceases,
My heart it fairly bursts with pride
As the heavenly wind increases
The stars and stripes are way up high,
Over Macdonalds and The 7-11,
Things have really gotten goin’
Since we invaded heaven
Long ago it all got written down
In the book of revelations,
It was the Lord himself who allowed
We was the chosen nation
Well, we could-a mobilised the marine corps,
But we’d had enough sittin’ and waitin’
We just wheeled them beauties outa them silos..
Yep, we nuked that bastard Satan
In his divine wisdom, his holiness and grace,
The Lord he said we done his work so well,
He gave us the mineral rights and contracts
For the exclusive exploitation of hell
But then, goddammit. he tried to stop us
Gettin’ in on his territory,
He didn’t want no commercialisation,
Leastways, that was his story…
Well, we begged, we pleaded him
To let in our corporations,
We even tried to get a resolution
At the United Nations
Now, we never wanted to cause no fuss,
Or start no unholy ruction,
But we just had to point out that his thunderbolts
Were weapons of mass destruction
We also had do tell him that though he ruled
By a process of divine selection,
When our marines had taken over
He’d have to stand for election..
Anyways, the work was done
In a couple of weeks we’d freed his nation,
With our precision-guided missiles
We’d kick-started heaven’s liberation
Well, as you might well expect
We met just a little resistance,
So if you see any of them renegade archangels
We’d be happy for your assistance.
Ol’ Glory is a-flyin’ now,
On this proud and wondrous day,
The Lord himself is tied up and bound
Behind the wire at Guantanamo Bay
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